Coronavirus (COVID-19) is affecting and impacting all of our daily lives in ways we never could have imagined. It is imperative that we, as a society and as a community, work together to help #flattenthecurve.
It is important to remember that I am a licensed attorney in California. This post is intended to be informative only, and not legal advice. I highly recommend you check the laws in your state, read your specific order, and/or contact a licensed family attorney in your area for answers to questions about your specific matter.
Because this is an unprecedented time, many of you co-parenting children probably have a million questions. I’m going to try and answer a few today. I would invite you to send me a message on FaceBook if you have a question not answered in this post.
Be cooperative! Right now everyone is stressed to some degree. This includes your children. Remember that using this time as an opportunity to cooperatively co-parent and to show your children that both of their parents will step up and work together to help set their fears at ease.
This is not the time to take advantage of the other parent.
First and foremost, when in doubt, follow your court order!
Remember that court orders are still orders even now. If you fail to comply with a court order you open yourself up to a contempt finding and potentially sanctions and having to pay the other parent’s attorneys fees. Not to mention the added stress on your child of increasing conflict during this uncertain time.
What if I, my child, or my child’s other parent get sick and are subject to quarantine requirements?
This is honestly the best time to practice empathy and to be flexible.
If you are healthy, now is a good time to think about what will happen if you, your child, or your child’s other parent get COVID-19 (or another illness) and are required to self-quarantine.
First review, your existing court order to determine if it addresses what generally happens if one or both of the parents are sick and unable to care for the child.
It’s vitally important to keep in mind that we are in unprecedented waters here, and even if your order does address sickness, it is a good idea to reach out to your child’s other parent (either directly, or through your attorneys) to make sure that you and the other parent are on the same page, and have a plan in place, in the event anyone gets sick or is required to quarantine.
If you do not have a court order, or your order does not cover what happens if one or both parents are unable to care for their child, it is even more important for you to reach out to the other parent and come up with a plan before it is needed.
Make sure to put any plan in writing!
Even if you make a plan with your co-parent about how to navigate this pandemic, follow it up with an email or text. You simply need to put in writing your understanding of the plan. This helps to clarify any confusions immediately.
Don’t forget to communicate with your co-parent about how you will both respond if your child(ren) get sick. Include who would stay home with the child in the event of sickness and quarantined. Would you continue to follow the regular parenting schedule (which could potentially expose both parents) even if your child is sick?
What about school closures…
Most schools have been closed down for at least the next three weeks, and Governor Newsom has stated that it is very likely that our children will not be returning to school until the fall!
Children are going to have to be homeschooled. This is very likely going to have an impact on custody agreements. Remember to co-parent with compassion so that both parents can use this extra time with your child(ren) to best help your child.
Keep the lines of communication open. Present a united front to your children about the importance them getting all their schoolwork done. Share school assignments, progress, and all school related websites openly with your co-parent.
What if we need to temporarily change our parenting time plan?
Any changes to a current order, or changes to the status quo if you have no order, should be in writing. Making sure any changes are in writing can help to prevent conflicts or confusion about changes down the road.
What if my co-parent won’t communicate with me?
If you and your co-parent have difficult communicating even in non-stressful times, it is probably even more imperative that you attempt to get any plans, or change of parenting time agreements in writing.
If you and your co-parent have attorneys, it might be a good idea to have any agreement negotiated and drafted through your attorneys.
Communication is key!
Hopefully by keeping the lines of communication open you and your co-parent can reduce or eliminate unnecessary conflict during what is already a very stressful time for everyone.